1 down, 5 to go!

Well, it's taken me 3 days to update so that says something! Very up and down from the nasty effects of chemo. Wednesday wasn't too bad, nurses lovely. A long process, but managed to cope with the cold cap - listened to my yoga music (thanks Tabitha) and did my breathing (thanks Rowan) and i think my semi meditative state got me through the pain barrier to the numbness.
I must confess to a few tears as the chemo needle went in - a moment of reality i guess, but it wasn't too bad. I think i will be forever haunted by the size of the 2 large syringes of red 'treatment' - 30 cm- massive! Took best part of an hour to administer! Followed by 2 smaller clear syringes and last lot through a drip for 15 mins, all flushed through with saline, 2 more hours of cold cap - then had to wait for my hair to unfreeze before removing it (-6!!!) then finally got home about 3 (9am start!).
Ironically having just sent a text saying i was ok, effects not too bad etc - i entered what i can only describe as the 'chemo zone' and a world of my own private battle with the drugs. Words cannot describe easily what it feels like - spaced out most of the time, no pain as such (yet) or sickness - just the feeling of nausea which comes in waves. Am convinced steroids started to make this worse so not taking anymore!!! Then there are the delights of hot flushes, or what i call 'having a moment' - go bright red/ dizzy/ and out of it for varing lengths of time - not nice!
So, there you go - as it is! And as it has been on and off since wed pm. In fairness Thursday afternoon i felt i was through the worst and seemed ok - Thur pm through til this morning have been tough - feel bad that i slept during visitors (sorry Heidi & Heather), but was in the chemo zone!!! Have now had 2 good hours, just a couple of 'moments' so can't complain. If, as i've been told, i should turn the corner on day 10/11 then i'm nearly half way there! Stay with me - i will bounce back. Thanks again for all your texts and emails - can't tell you enough how much they help. Lots of love xxx