Well the only thing that I am looking forward tomorrow is that it is my last 'FEC' 'treatment' EVER (never again - no matter what!!!) - just hoping the vein survives (unlike the last time- it still hurts and will take months to heal apparently).
Saw oncologist yesterday, was kind of hoping for another offer to delay chemo for a couple of days, I declined last time - I would've accepted it this time! Not to be. Oh well, no wimping out for me! To be honest, it's been tough going mentally since chemo 2, don't know why really as I've been relatively well and other than the vein and the constant tiredness (which I'm used to) there have been no problems. I suppose I know how vile I am going to feel and I really don't want to feel that way anymore; I also know that due to the very fine amount of hair that's just about managing to hang on that the cold cap is going to hurt like hell - I just hope i can bare it, else it's goodbye to the hair, which I really don't want. The 3 week cycle has lost it's appeal - I want my life back, which ultimately the aim of chemo etc - it's just such a bloody awful way of going about things. Hmmm, am I bordering on the negative? Apologies! I suppose I am allowed to be fed up from time to time - it's just really hard because I know that this time tomorrow I'm going to feeling crap and will be off to 'chemoland' for 3 days. I don't like that place!!!
Still, keep the texts and emails coming - you are all so fantastic, couldn't be getting through this without you! Love you lots xxx
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
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