Update

4!!! Only 4 lymph nodes were cancerous ~ phew! On balance this is good news, not even half way to double figures! 2 tumours, the largest weighed in at 2cm the other at 8mm with a 7cm surrounding area of pre cancerous cell changes... the good news is that they believe that it's all been removed. I hope so!
Just incase I'm going to get a full blast of chemo PLUS as it's HER2+ (not particularly good news as this means it's aggressive and the cancer cells multiply quickly) I will probably go on a clinical trial whereby a newish (last 5 years) drug called Herceptin will be given at the same time as Chemo (rather than afterwards), from my own reading of trials so far the results look very encouraging, so I’m really pleased about that.
What isn't quite so great is that it's grade 3 (the highest possible) which means it's an aggressive little bugger! However, it is also therefore more vulnerable to chemotherapy (fingers crossed). So, have now been referred to the oncologist (posh word for cancer doctor) Dr Sue Dean, who I hope to meet a week on Tuesday (10th March), with a view to starting chemo the following week.
As mentioned before this will involve 1 treatment every 3 weeks x 6. To be followed by radiotherapy to 3 areas: chest bone; armpit; collar bone. Then for good measure 5 years of the menopause inducing drug tamoxifen, hot flushes included!
Cancer really gets you from all directions - bits of your body chopped off and removed; poisoned to within an inch of your life AND your hair falls out AND the steroids make you fat; then they suppress your oestrogen with tamoxifen which induces a (sometimes temporary/ sometimes permanent) early menopause along with all the joys that brings! Not so hurrah is the fact that my chances of ever becoming a mum are now almost zero, and to be honest of all the above that is the hardest to deal with... chemo will come and go, my hair will grow back and the weight can be lost... but perhaps it is a small(ish) price to pay for life in the greater scheme of things and I will learn to look at life differently, it's certainly not what I had planned, but true to my spirit I intend to make the best of it. One thing I am determined not to lose is this battle -so, take up your ring side seats and if you're a betting person, put your money on me to win - I certainly intend to!

Awaiting Friday.

Thought I’d better post a quick update as it’s been almost a week. Have got over the slight disappointment that my results weren’t back last Friday and I’m on the count down to this Friday (less than 48 hours to go!).
I thought this week would drag but actually it’s flown by. I loved having all my family around at the weekend, ringoing at Snowtrax was great fun (not me by the way ~ but had just as much fun watching and taking photos!) and my homemade chilli and guacamole went down well on Saturday night – Trev you owe me a set of new table mats!!!! Ellie, keep reminding me and I WILL send you the recipe (eventually).
I had lunch delivered to me on Monday by my 3 lovely friends Jackie, Karren and Heather (once car was fixed!!! I hope it’s still working) and felt thoroughly spoilt (THANK YOU). Ditto Tuesday, thanks to Shelley and Aneira. I also learnt all about ‘In the Night Garden’, Cbeebies is a whole new world (and no - not my regular daytime TV viewing before you get worried, although arguably it is more entertaining than Bargain Hunt!)
If I said my gorgeous friend Rachel also made me lunch today I hope that doesn’t make me sound too spoilt, a divine root vegetable soup was today’s treat – and of course the company of Chiara, can’t believe she’ll soon be one! We popped into work briefly beforehand and it was lovely to see everyone, but kind of weird to be able to stay behind in the staff room at the end of break. Hope to be back in to say hello again next week.
Finally my lovely friend Heidi has been over for a quick catch up, so all in all a very nice day/ week so far.
Got to be honest, not looking forward to Friday – been doing a bit more research on how they ‘grade’ lymph node involvement, in a nutshell am hoping for a number that’s not double figures (eg 10+ would suggest high lymph node involvement and therefore greater risk of spread~ will be requesting a scan before chemo if this is the case ~ just so you know!). So positive thoughts please!
Will aim to update you later on Friday (appointment at 10am) or early Saturday – watch this space xxx

No news... a very brief update (v.tired)

Just a quick update ~ saw my consultant today, but as I'd been told by breast care nurse yesterday, no results - despite his trying to chase the histology results they're still not completed. So, nothing new to report. He did confirm 'enlarged glands' being evident when he removed my lymph nodes (IE cancer) and also reconfirmed that chemotherapy is a sure thing, in about 3 weeks time. I asked again about a scan to see if the cancer has spread, especially if results show high lymph node involvement (IE indicating a higher risk that the cancer has spread) but again he said probably not - unless i request one, as it won't alter the treatment plan - but it would delay it, as a scan would require a further wait for results etc. So, another week to wait and then really the main news will be lymph node involvement, whether the cancer is hormone receptive (treated with a drug called Herceptin, rather than tamoxifen) and whether they will need to suppress my ovaries with a 5 year drug treatment program. Hmmmm, such choices and decisions! Still, all the worrying in the world won't change anything so I'm not. Went to the beach and had lunch at Jazzy's in the midday sunshine, lovely!

1 week on...

...and doing just fine! Have thoroughly enjoyed recuperating at home (Thank you Mr. Pain!) All was good with my district nurse check up on Monday and again today. My dressings were taken off this afternoon and there's no need to re dress as am healing well. Amazingly well actually. I must admit I wasn't going to look at my scar, fearing it would be a bloody, bruised mess - but it's anything but. No blood, just a very thin, neat pinkish scar from the middle of my chest to under my arm. Totally amazing (word repetition I know but I can't think of a more fitting word). The body's capacity to heal itself is ... you know the word! If it does this well on fighting off any rogue cells during chemo then I think my odds might be improving!!!
So, next steps... hospital on Friday for a check up, the breast care nurses have told me my results will not be turned around that quickly so I’m not sure what to expect really~ maybe just checking that I’m behaving myself, which of course I am. Daily exercise is certainly improving my arm mobility, and my need for painkillers was almost none existent today.
That's that really for now. Still completely overwhelmed by the amount of cards and flowers (BIG THANK YOUs), I’m undecided whether my lounge more closely resembles a florist or a card shop ! I'll let you decide ~ visitors welcome (cold/cough/flu free please) alternatively please keep the texts coming, they really do help keep my spirit buoyant, which it is.
Will update you after Friday's appointment.
Love and blessings to you all, Terri xxx

Home!

I'm home! Beyond all my expectations they took my drains out yesterday and said I could go home! Yippee!!! The nurses were fantastic, as were my ward mates, but there really is no place like home. So, here I am. Up, showered, dressed and really feeling quite good, so can't complain really.
It is a bit funny to be not quite as symmetrical as I once was, but there are ways around this (it's a whole new world believe me!) In all seriousness, the surgeon did a fantastic job, just a neat scar from the middle of my rib cage to under my arm (not that I can see it because it's still covered with a thin dressing, but I can see enough to see what's what~ if you know what i mean). It is a little bit strange I suppose to have an extra bit of space, you notice it more when reaching across and suddenly you get a reminder that there's nothing there. Still, that means that what once was there (nasty tumour) is living and growing no more!!!
So, on with the healing in preparation for the second phase of this battle. Phase one is going very well so far!
I have to say a big thank you to my little bro for keeping you all informed (I really didn't moan about the noise too much, but was feeling quite rough after the anaesthetic.....and well, I am what I am!). Anyway, I’m back writing again for a while, I expect James will be given back the reins of power when chemotherapy does its worst, but that's for another day.
Today the sun is shining and life is for living. Enjoy. Love you all lots. Terri xxx

The Recovery Begins...

Well I spoke with Terri last night and boy, what a Trooper she is! She was a little nauseous after the Op but by about 1am Wednesday night she was feeling much better. She's managed to get out of bed and have a shower and was chatting away but still quite tired by last night.

The hospital say she could be out by Saturday night but could be Sunday as she'd like to stay until the draining is complete. All-in-all, she's in really good spirits and being wonderfully positive about everything - Dad commented that she was having a good old moan about the noise so was definitely on the mend, back to her normal self!

As usual, as soon as I know anything more I'll be posting,
James

Op went well...

In Terri's absence from a computer, she's put me - James - in sole charge of the blog!

I've just this second had a text from Dad to say that the op went well, Terri's a bit groggy but absolutely fine.

As soon as I have more info, I'll post it up.

Mum, Me & Cancer ~ 10th February

5 years to this very day my lovely mum died. There is not a day that has passed when I haven't thought about her in someway, and yes, I wish she was here in person today to hold my hand and to give me one of her hugs that I miss so much. But I am sure somehow she is watching over me, holding my hand in spirit and willing me to fight - and fight I will.
Mum instilled in me a quiet, deep strength and I will be calling upon this in the coming days, weeks and months. We often learn by example, and although unbeknown to anyone I guess her last lesson to me was her shining example of how to deal with breast cancer. And she did shine, without fail, every single day. Anyone that knew mum will remember her smile, she smiled her way through cancer... smiled and smiled and smiled! Now I know there will have been the unseen moments of fear and worry (we tend to keep these to ourselves!) but overwhelmingly mum smiled and mum fought. And come what may, so shall I - every step of the way.
So here we are, 4 weeks on and it's almost time. This time tomorrow the removal of this horrible disease from my body will be underway. I am not scared. I am loved... and surrounded by the most amazing friends and family. Together we will deal with this, and together we will keep smiling!
All my love and blessings, Terri xxx

More party photos..

Party!

More to follow xxx

Great night. Great company. Great friends

Saturday night was without doubt all i had ever hoped for - and more. I was genuinely humbled to have a room full of all my fantastic friends. So many people commented on what a lovely atmosphere there was, and that's down to you because i am blessed to have the most amazing friends that anyone could ever wish for. I loved every minute of Saturday night. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
PS Photos will be appearing on here tomorrow xxx

Pre Op

All went well at the pre op appointment yesterday - all two and a half hours of it! Too tired to write last night, it was a long day! Saw breast care nurse first - their support is amazing. We went through what to expect and all the girlie stuff like bras and how to fill them (interesting ~ they come in all shapes and sizes!!! The fillings that is~ and the post op bras aren't too bad actually, which is a relief). We also went through the scary stuff like lymphodema, but she was quite upbeat about this and even said that travelling by plane eventually wasn't out of the question ~ hurrah for good news.
Then had a lengthy meeting with the nurses from the ward, usual sort of stuff. Did you know you get swabbed for MRSA for hospital admissions? They showed me the drains/bottle that i will have in for a couple of days, they are a bit like the sports drinks bottles that you can get - with long tubes attached! They even come in an attractive floral bag so that no one has to see the contents. Hmmm, enough said.
My final meeting was with the Doctor ~ i passed all the medical 'tests' and have been deemed fit to be operated on next Wednesday (admission Tuesday).
So that's that. Not liking it very much at the moment but am absolutely determined to beat this nasty breast cancer disease!

Blessings of the snow…

Well, it’s been 5 years since there was enough snow to build a snowman ~ I remember it well… The snow came down whilst I was visiting mum in hospital, it was a scary and very slow drive home (followed closely by Trev~ I’m not a fan of driving in the snow, so I made sure he followed me just in case of disaster). I had a big garden then, so we were able to build an huge snowman – got lots of photos of him and the dogs (I had two then, Charlie and Bradley). I had the help of my very good friend Rachel and our snowman was awesome, and the dogs loved the snow! Mum loved the photos!
Now once again (almost 5 years to the day~ another coincidental reminder) it’s snowman time again -I’m going to make a snow angel too, since I’ve never done that before (I don’t think snow angels existed when we were kids). Now I’m just a big kid and VERY excited by the snow (and the 2 days off work!!!) Bradley has already checked out the snow – and approved with several laps of the garden, and has had a fair covering of snow himself.
Actually the two days off are a blessing, I feel like I’ve had time to do most of the things I need to before going in to hospital next week (yes, it’s coming round quickly now) - all of my marking and planning is pretty much up to date and I’ve managed a bit more decorating in the house, which is fantastic since after my op I have to be very, very careful of my left arm (due to lymph node clearance) I have even read that repeated actions such as hanging out the washing are to be avoided – shame! The man training is well underway, I have been served porridge already this morning (all part of my new healthy ‘beat cancer by what you eat’ diet), now for the ironing (he’s very good) and the cleaning (needs a bit more practise ~ just to be sure).
So, only a week to go. I am actually going into hospital next Tuesday afternoon (bed space permitting) as I’m on the Wednesday morning operation list, so the good news is I should be awake and ok for visitors Wednesday night and my aim of being out of hospital Saturday morning at the latest is looking a bit more likely. I’ll find out more this Thursday at my pre op appointment, so I’ll be able to update you more after that. Nearly there now, to be honest I’m looking forward to getting the operation over and done with, at least then the tumours and hopefully all of the cancer will be gone from my body – that’s the plan anyway! xxx