It's been a while....

... almost 6 months since I've posted, some very difficult times indeed. Hindsight's a wonderful thing, but I think on reflection I went back to work full time too soon - and felt quite misunderstood in the process, then life just became too complicated in October - and it all went downhill from there (as observed by several of my friends) resulting in a very tough start to 2010.
Depression is common after cancer, especially once the main treatment is done - you fight for your life to return to normality but when you get there you understand that life will never be the same again. For me I lost the motivation to fight for a while, I really couldn't have cared what happened, the one person that at the time i wanted to be there choose not to be. You live and learn, as they say - and I've certainly learnt a lot in the last 6 months. I've learnt who my friends truly are and I've learnt that words without actions are meaningless, and that what some people say they are going to do - and what they ultimately end up doing are two very different things.
Deep down I am strong, independent and a fighter - a realist too, but eventually I choose to fight. It was tough, but thanks to the support on my doctors, the breast care nurses, my Shine friends and my scuba friends.... and of course my regular friends too - I'm now gaining in strength and confidence. 6 months on, I've had my last Herceptin (yesterday) and my portacath is being removed next Thursday, then I'm done! I hope.
Sadly I did not make the Moonwalk, as I have suffered with fatigue and it just was not physically possible -I have to say a huge well done to Sarah who went ahead and did the whole 26 miles anyway - AMAZING. I am however doing Relay for Life - the 24 hour team event to raise money for cancer research.
I expect I'll remember lots more to write once I post this - I'll try not to leave it so long next time!